Sometimes, goodbye's are really the hardest thing in life...
Especially if it is up to you to decide wether it is that time or not.

When I was 8, I got this lovely gift, which was a cute little kitten, which I named Bouletteke. She was the cuuuuuuutest ever.
We grew up together, it was nice...I remember when I was small, I rode her around in this baby-trolly thing...or when I played with my dolls, she used to sit in this horse-stable thing of barbie (lol, embarassing past of mine), that had this water system...And she knew how to make it work, and then she used to drink from it...it was brilliant.
She was always around me.

As the years went by we both grew older, but we of course stayed close.
Last years she often was in my room, on my bed, sleeping, she was always somewhere close to me.
Cutie pic of her sleeping --> :thumb39186701:


Never were she sick and she were just dandy, a very happy kitty.
What I adored most of her were her eyes though, with them brown flecks in it.
:thumb16178796:

Anyway, about a month ago, just before we went to England, she seemed to have gone quite deaf, we were already wondering why she seemed more secluded, and on her own somewhere.
Often we had to search for her as she just didn't show up when we called.

She seemed fine otherwise though, vet said it might've been old age, she just turned 13 after all.
So no big worries, and a week later we were off to England.
During those five days she apparently got ill, crawled in to dark and secluded places and refused to eat.
My brother tried to take as good care as possible for her, at least trying to give her things as catmilk, etc.

She was skin over bones and took her to the vet immediately, the morning after we came back from holidays.
Nearly I had to put her to sleep, but I decided to give her a second chance, and she was put on fluids and some IV things, etc, to strenghten.

All seemed better the following weeks, minus an attack or two, but her senses went down, she went blind, she couldn't smell anymore, she barely could find her food or drink, so we fed her with a spoon, and so, put her on the litter box, but she was happy.
We gotten even more close the last week when she slept with me at nights as well now. She purred, it was sweet.

Sadly enough she seemed to loose bladder control at a certain point, and that night she just lost her orientation, she didn't even realise at times she were with me, on my bed.
That morning she lost once again bladder control when I carried her to her litter box, and she seemed well out of it, just laying there...
It was then that we called to the vet, with the difficult desicion, she had suffered enough.

Can't believe what a day that was, one of the most sad days in my life.
Deciding over her, having to say goodbye...I really treasured those last moments and days...I held her when they put her to sleep...it was peaceful...
And when the vet told, she really had nothing left of energy, seeing how unusually fast it worked, he said it would've been a matter of days...And that we prevented her from the worst.
So now she was able to go, with love, and care...

Think the hardest thing was, when we burried her...I carefully placed her in there...it broke my heart, but I needed it, as a goodbye.
(jee...typing this is making me cry...and been a week).

Now I got a picture on my mobile of her...will let that beautiful photo from above here framed...and I'm going to buy a lovely statue for where she's been burried.



Anyway...after 13 years, and now she's gone, I came to realise, just how much she been a part of me.
Feels like I got some empty space in me now...I shared everything with her, to happiness, the sadness...She always were with me.
I miss that really...I also miss not having her around on my bed anymore, its really, something odd to get used to.
Especially after 13 years...

She was my first pet, my first real friend...
Glad to have shared a big part of my life with her, if not the most important part of my life as well.

Love your animals and pets, they are truly the most important thing in your life I think...


So yes, been a week now...haven't had any breaks since my return from England...Went on and on, my Addison seemed going fine as well.
Now I got terribly ill though, the stress and care caught up with me.
Also because just after that, I had to write music for a short-movie thing, still have some songs to go.
Luckily it got approved
Its excting!
Though after that, I might need a good rest!!

Now, enough ramblings I suppose
Tah tah peeps!